i'm gonna take my horse to the old town road
by Hoshi no Kafei
Summary: An AI-generated story about love and cowboys
1. Chapter 1

One night Jotaro Kujo had been drinking too much absinth.

He felt very nice and enjoyed it very much.

Then all the sudden he saw a stranger walking.

Not just any stranger because real strangers dont exist!

This one was evil!

Jotaro Kujo ran to stranger and hit them, it was Hol Horse!

"How dare you..you.. villain! I kill you by murder!"

"Yes, we fight now!"

No Jotaro Kujo screamed in agony. and he screamed a lots you know. it really really hurt. the pain that is. Trust me, youd scream hurt!

Our hero took his mighty weapon and went balistik on he.

"Oh no! It was my friend! And my friend there is really a man!"

"My friend! said Jotaro Kujo, you are a man!" he said and saying he did!

"Oh that is good" said Jotaro Kujo

"No it is not! Mahaha!. You see i must kill you because I was told to by my lightsaber

"But not today!", with that the villianess villian ran off into the sunset.

A little Later, Hol Horse was taking a shit.

was having trouble though.

It felt like days passed and still no sign of release.

"Help..Errrr... ahhhh! Christ! when is this epic poo gonna pass!?" Hol Horse exclaimed, face wincing with effort.

He made every effort in his little boy body to expel this demon thing from his womanly back side.

Just as Hol Horse was going in for another push..

Without warning the bathroom door suddenly burst open unexpectedly. Ahhhh!

"Well hello...Hol Horse" a seductive noise whispered from the doorway.

A shadowy person stood leaning against the door frame. Her deep, sensual voice which Hol Horse knew immediately. mind began racing and a nervous sweat began pouring from face.

"Malon... is that you? wha- what are you still doing awake...?"

She appeared in nothing but a towel, seemingly ready to take a steamy shower.

However She couldn't with Hol Horse near by...they were like family was like cousin.

Any sane person would never allow their own cousin to see them in the nude. Right? RIGHT!? SHIT!"

"Oh I felt dirty from questing all day...ya ever feel dirty Hol Horse?"

"Y-Yes, I mean NO! NO! NO! Never" Hol Horse shrieked, became so immensely worked up he cleaned colon clear of the demon feces that had been clogging it. His voice also cracked like he was 13 again, but in comparison to the loud flatulence just unleashed, who cares? Malon heard though, and giggled like a adorable baby girl laugh. It sent tingles all up Hol Horse's spine.

"Oh you've always been the shy one in the family, Hol Horse..."

Hol Horse was not shy, at all. defeated Hol Horse and blew up His evil machines for Christ's sake! and now suddenly found self speechless. Was going to see his metaphorical cousin literally naked? Little did he know, that was merely a sprinkle on the banana split of carnal pleasures that was to come.

"..the shy and excitable one." said Malon finishing the sentence She started earlier.

"Wh-what the..." and before Hol Horse could send the third word out of mouth..

..Malon's towel dropped to the floor,revealing her swimsuit underneath.

Hol Horse noticed everything on her instantly. Her soft butt,her magically gravity-defying breasts and the tiny thingy colored birth mark on her butt, which made feel funny...as had one there too.

Still, the sight of her near perfect body caused Hol Horse to feel funny in places had never felt before.

"hehe oh my Hol Horse...you're more impressive than I thought."

"uh... ye-yeah, th-thaaanks Malon, you're cute too." THIS IS SO WRONG! It raced through head at lightning speed. But the beautiful, wet, soapy body that stood before spoke otherwise. Her shapely body was everything Hol Horse could want ...in a body to make use of. Yet did family like relationship matter?..

...

...

NAAAAAH!

But just as Hol Horse was commiting. Commiting to a path that they couldn't go back from.

Jotaro Kujo burst into the toilet!

"What are you too upto?"

"Err..nothing" said Hol Horse as causally slipped pants back on.

Malon, who Jotaro Kujo didnt notice, picked up her towel and backed out slowly.

"Really?"

"I was just having a shit...see?" Hol Horse gestured to shit.

"Oh, thats a shit all right! One hell of a shit!

Ok, if your done we better go"

So Hol Horse put other pants on and left. had a serious case of blue balls, but at least anus didnt feel so bad now.

As walked out Malon whispered one word. A word fall of hope.

"Later"

Hol Horse Giggled.

Fortunately, their traveling companion was as oblivious as ever, and didn't notice.

AUTHORS NOTE: I HAVE SKIPED THE JORNEY BIT, BECAUSE IT WOULD BE BOREING..NO AUTHOR WRITES STORYS ABOUT TRAVELING! *yawn*! '

"We are almost there. " said Jotaro Kujo as they arrived near there journeys end.'

"Arhhhhhhhhhhhh" said Kakyoin Noriaki as he fall down a cliff.

"Nooooo..."

"There there, it will be ok"

"No..This is something...you cannot ease"

"Why?"

"You dont have boobs!"

"oh"

"Don't worry, I feel better."

What happened next was soo cool you will like it a lot, basically, it went like this:

Only it was even cooler because i didnt have to write it! When it was in my head the words didnt get in the way. btw, Excuse me if i skip the words occasionally, its to save me time.

Ok, after they finished with the white spirit they went to the base where the final battle started when they got there. Dont worry! The bad guy dies!

Malon winked at Hol Horse when no one else was looking.

"Later" she mouthed at silently so no one could hear.

Later, Hol Horse and Malon were alone again.

"Its Later" said Malon, pulling Hol Horse towards the bathroom.

"But what about the others?"

"I'll just tell them you are helping me shower. They wont suspect a thing"

"True. They are all idiots"

Then, suddenly, Malon was naked. Hol Horse wondered how She did that. She must have been nearly naked this whole time!

The shower turned on...

..Hol Horse was already.

Malon lathered up good and fine. The soap dripped off Her body at a seductively slow pace. Hol Horse could not contain the powerful urge of excitement that raced through veins.

The alluring look of nudie comrade became too much for to fathom and body started sweeting.

There Hol Horse sat, gold pants pulled quickly down at his ankles, on a toilet full of poop with bodly fluids on full display, eyes bulging from face.

Malon giggled as Hol Horse's dignity shriveled and died, but Hol Horse had always enjoyed that delightful snicker, even after found out She was own flesh and blood.

"Well...wh-what do we do now?" Hol Horse said, desperately trying to sound suave.

"It. We do it."

"it?"

"yes. it"

"we do it?"

"yes"

"oh"

...and with that Malon jumped on Hol Horse. And they cuddled and hugged a lot.

"I love you Malon"

"I love you too Hol Horse...lets get married"

And they did!

Hol Horse looked especially radiant in a dress. Later, after their honeymoon they continued their adventure (with non of their friends any the wiser)...

So they snuck into the Hol Horse's lair. It was dark and there were horrofic things on the walls like drawings of skulls and suffering people.

Through the dark and dank corridors of the lair's dungeons they went with outmost silence and skill. They sneaked past all the guards who had been turned into horrible demons by Hol Horse's new invention. And this would also happen to the whole world if they wouldn't be able to steal the Triferce from Hol Horse's hands!

They went down the corridors and up the large majestic stairways made of bones and jewls of all shapes and sizes sprinkled with saffron.. One of the corridors led towards a great hall where in the middle of the hall stood a pedestal with a treassure chest on top and on that a red velvet pillow upon which laid a white silk finely woven cloth. And on that laid the Triferce.

Jotaro Kujo knew that he had to use his Stand to get the Triferce but it would explode if he didnt believe in himself enough. Malon inhaled firmly and wondered if Jotaro Kujo could pull it off. Link stood ready with his weapon in his hand . Jotaro Kujo concentrated firmly and then carefully but powerfully unleashed his Stand.

It worked! The shielding around the Triferce desolved like knife though hot butter. It was amazing how Jotaro Kujo's use of Stand was effective against Hol Horse's inconceivable powers.

Unfortunately for our plunky heroes, it wasn't enough

"GRRRRRrr" said a creapy voice. Everyone quickly turned to face the entrance of the hall where the voice came from.

It was Hol Horse! And he looked even less humane as before. He had used the power of the Triferce to transform into a horrific tragedy of a humanoid.

"Ha! Are you surprised by my new looks?" he said. "It is amazing! The powers I have now are beyond your comprehension!"

"My comprehension is really good," retorted Jotaro Kujo and Jotaro Kujo's friends looked proud.

"Hahaha of course yours is. But are you able to comprehend the future of this world? I bet you aren't that smart after all. I will rule the world now, you see and there is nothing you can do to stop me!"

"But," said Hol Horse with a lower tone, "even though you are not as smart as I am, you are surprisingly capable so I wish to make this offer: join me and we can rule this world together!"

"Never in a million billion years!" screamed Jotaro Kujo!

"Think about it, Jotaro Kujo, you can now still save your friends! Make them stop mutate ebefore I release my powers!"

Jotaro Kujo was now frightened. He wanted to keep Malon, Kakyoin Noriaki, Ruto and Link alive but he could not get Hol Horse get away with it! But then he remembered: Hol Horse no longer had the Triferce! He was powerless!

But as if Hol Horse could read his mind, Hol Horse spoke: "Oh and your scheme to steal the Triferce? I no longer need it! I have gained all the power from it that I need in order to mutate everyone in the whole world! But not that you even considered going against me, I will destroy you. Such a shame, we could be such good...friends."

"Jotaro Kujo would never be friends with you!" said Ruto

"It is too late now anyway, said Hol Horse, my plan is active now and I will give you the best place to enjoy it: from your prison cell!"

Hol Horse laughed and said to his guards: "lead them to my dungeon where you will suffer for all eternity in agony .

But Jotaro Kujo had not forgotten his Stand. With the stealth and strenght that he learned from his previous adventures, he winked and unleashed the Stand.

Hol Horse had not expected that. He thought he had trapped Jotaro Kujo and his friends and managed to demoralise them so much they would not resist.

"Arggg!" Hol Horse said. His guards did not know what to do. Their leader was too weak against this onslaught. What could they do against that sort of might? So they all fled!

"Argh, noooo!" Hol Horse extrapolated, "I was soo close to ultimate power!"

Seeing Jotaro Kujo succesfully attack Hol Horse, Ruto and Kakyoin Noriaki also attacked Hol Horse!

"Arigh, no, noooo!"

"I will unleash my final power!" Hol Horse said and raised his arms to the sky and started hissing an evil curse.

But Jotaro Kujo was too quick. He ran towards Hol Horse and hit Hol Horse in the tummy. He was knocked out instantly. Everyone was happy and everyone was cheering for Jotaro Kujo who had avoided the apocalypse! And now they all went home and wait until their next adventure!


	2. it's over, why are you still here!

What are you here for?

The story's over, go home!

That's all the cowboy humor you're going to get in this story...

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly.


End file.
